I run a motivation site, this one, which gets thousands of visitors a day. I sometimes get emails from people who make me think they believe me to be some guru or someone who is always motivated and driven and taking action. In this post, I’d like to share with my readers who I really am.
I’m in my 30’s and make my living online. I get lazy at times. I have goals and dreams to work towards but there are times when I just don’t feel like doing anything. I have fears and insecurities about myself just like everyone else. I’m not even close to being perfect nor do I want to be. That’s just too much pressure.
Although I have a 4 year degree, I was never able to land a decent paying job. In fact, when I first launched this site at the end of 2008, I was working as a temporary customer service rep. It was a job I hated but needed at the time to pay the bills. I still owe thousands in student loans and currently rent.
I often refrain from posting certain thoughts on this site because of what others may think of me. Although I’ve never said I was successful (at least defined by society’s standards), I realize that some people think I’m more successful than I really am just because I run a motivation/self improvement website but I never bothered to say otherwise until now.
I’m naturally an introvert which is probably the opposite of what you would expect from someone who runs a site like this. I’ve always been quite shy growing up. Over the years, thanks to my background in sales and marketing shortly after graduating college, I’ve become more confident but it’s definitely something I need to improve upon. I often feel awkward in social situations that involve a bunch of people I don’t know.
I often feel inferior to some of the people I know. Many of the people I know who are around my age are way more successful. They have great paying jobs. They travel. They seem quite happy. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m a bit envious of them.
I’m afraid of failure. To be more precise, I’m afraid of what others would think of me if I fail. This doesn’t prevent me from chasing my dreams but it does prevent me from sharing my dreams with other people. In fact, only a couple of my friends even know I have this website.
I’m generally a happy, care-free person but I do have moments where I feel like my life isn’t going anywhere and it can get a bit depressing. Fortunately, those moments don’t last very long.
My biggest fears are not being good enough and not being loved.
The reason I decided to write this post is so my readers can get to know the real me and at the same time, throw away any misconceptions about who I am so that I can be a bit more personal and not write articles from a place of this perfect, successful person but from the perspective of someone who has dreams and fears and moments of laziness just like everyone else.
I welcome any comments or thoughts.
Back to Random Thoughts
Thank you for sharing. I can really relate to your story as I find myself in the same shoes sometimes.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks Leahna 🙂
Its nice to see someone with true insight and not a self induldged know it all all the people out there selling books talk of greaty fortune and riches i just want to be happy (money dose not hurt ) i read your pasge every day keep up the great work others benifit from you karma on the way .
I appreciate the comment Leon.
Hey! I'm a guy from Sweden having troubles with motivation. I do a lot of things everyday and I'm happy with my life, but I want to try break away from my habits and do things that would give an extra spice to my life, but it's so hard! Thanks for running this site. Here, I can put my life in to perspective and then it's easier to be thankful of what I've got. Continue your fab work!
All the best
Hey Emil! I'm glad you like the site. Yeah, maintaining motivation isn't always the easiest thing especially if you're trying to break a habit but if you're determined and approach it with a good attitude, it'll eventually happen. Thanks for the comment. Take care.
YOU my friend are a DUDE! Trust me, you have no idea how much this site has helped me in life. Keep up the good work. All the best. 🙂
My very first thought after reading your first sentence was, “When did I say I was female??” Thanks for the compliment and I'm happy to hear that this site has been valuable for you. All the best to you as well my friend.
No no what I meant was that you're a cool dude. That way. 😀
🙂
Actually I just landed up on this site today!!! I was feelin so low because i flunked very badly in a exam after doing a lot of hard work inspite studyin so hard… I was searching for this song “I believe i can fly” that lead me to this site….. I saw so many motivational songs and videos and i was crying seeing those videos posted here…. it made me think that i have everything and i have to be thankful and just get up from the ashes and prove to myself that i can do anything i put my mind to……I thought this website made my day…..i was just going thru the articles randomly and saw “the real me”. I thought let me get an insight into the person who runs it……when i read the post , i was like WOW!!! This person has so much of capability to successfully run a motivational site and inspire so many ppl everyday and still here he is writing also about his negative side!!!! This only shows how positive and motivated u are because it takes talent to display ur positives but it takes courage and dare to tell ur negatives….not all can do it….
cheers to u and this site for making my day!!!! I am going to make sure i log on to this site everyday and GET MOTIVATED!!! CHEERS!!!! Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!!!
Hi Niki,
I'm glad this site made your day and guess what? Your comment made MY day 🙂 Thanks a ton for taking the time to share that. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you as well!
I feel you man!! I have spent 26 years in the Navy and got too comftorable. Now I have to get out and am way afraid of failing. Keep the motivation going.I am starting my own Pastoral Counseling and Life Coaching business. Check out my site. I am also on Linkedin.
Thanks for visiting Bill. Looks like your site is pretty new.
Hey, thanks so much 4 e inspiration. i somehow stumbled onto this page, am so grateful i did so. am also an introvert, have read a number of motivational books, always have a quote in mind for someone close to me,but encouraging oneself is a whole lot different. have never seen a motivational writer plainly talk about their fear and weaknesses.thanks for this. this will be my daily morning plot as i get to start work everyday. Blessed day. Sera
Thanks Sera. I'm glad you're finding the content on my site useful and thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.
dear Kevin , i'm Gin… today luck dragged me to your site… beside that ” Real You Are ” … i highly appreciate the way you described yourself.. thats so true… Man i dn't know why you are running this website… but its great … same like you … keep on good work.. and i like to call you my friend ..:)
Welcome to the site my friend 🙂
Not enough good things to say. I appreciate so much being available all in one portion of the net. Thanks.
You're welcome and thanks for the comment.
Congratulations Kevin .. you are human ! I read this post and it made me smile. It is a big moment in your life when you accept yourself, with your perceived shortcomings, your fears and your hopes acknowledged, addressed and laid bare for all to see. Yes, we the public will judge you, some kindly and some harshly. Don't take the unkind comments to heart – those people are not yet mature in their souls. Our biggest challenge in life is to love all mankind, and it is very difficult for some. I look forward to your future posts and wish you all the success in life that you desire.
Thanks for the kind words Christiana. I haven't actually gotten many unkind comments that I can recall, maybe a couple but posted them and replied to them anyway. Thanks for the good wishes and I wish you the same. Have an awesome New Year!
like a few others i accidentally stumbled on to this site. today in fact!! i have also been a motivational introverted person as you are. I don’t have a site but maybe one day. the last few months i seemed to have lost my mojo and been a bit down and completely unmotivated. i really liked this post as even the most positive people are flawed and its nice to hear one share their true selves and admit their weakness. sites like this help pick me back up when i hit a rough patch. Yet sometimes they take out the human element, thank you for adding that to your site. I will enjoy reading more and definitely hope you include more of your personal story along the way.
Glad you like the site Tanya and thanks. I'll definitely be adding more posts to the random thoughts section. As for now, get your mojo back and let's rock 2012! 🙂
Nice ..but I have only one line that I want to share with u”every one have an oppurtunity to be successfull and to be happy according to the way u creat ur views in life ,we must be thankful for the things that god given to us for every day living in life bc in this way u can have a shine and bright life ….Sweety don't be afraid of failed no one trying that cannot have their req in life …
Morning, First time I have seen this page and i think you have done a very good job. I guess every one judges success for him self but if motivating people was your goal then you are a success. I don't usually write comments to strangers on Web pages but i had to let you know your doing good. I just read the book “the Secret” and needed more that's how I found you. The book may not change my life but action how ever small will. And finding this page to remind me to be grateful every day can't help but change me.
Thank You for being here when I needed you.
love and friendship
I believe I only have one article about “The Secret” and the law of attraction so although the chances were probably small, you found this site and I'm glad you did. Have a look around, there's a lot of valuable tools and thanks for taking the time to leave me a comment. Much appreciated my friend.
I was fat. In the summer of 2011 I was looking desperately for a quote, an idea, a sign or anything to motivate me to lose weight. That's until I found your website, which became an indispensable part of my life for about 4 months during which I lost roughly 25 kg from 104 kg to 79-80 kg. I used to visit it nearly everyday and I still do from time to time whenever I feel down or in need of a reason to go on and persevere. Needless to point out that after losing 25 kg every single aspect of my life improved considerably. So, no matter who you are for the world, for me you'll always be a beacon of divine light (I don't believe in God though, I'm an atheist). I wish you all the best 😉
It's stories like yours that remind me why I created this site in the first place. Thank you for sharing that with me. I've learned a long time ago that doing something to positively impact someone's life is one of the best feelings in the world.
For those reading this, my site wasn't what got Vlad to reach his goals, his actions and determination did. The stuff you find on this site are just tools. They're worthless unless you go out and put in the work.
In terms of achieving goals, action trumps knowledge every time.
Thanks again Vlad 🙂
Wow, reading your posts and comments have given me the warm and fuzzies. You are such an open, and honest person. I happen to think you are beautiful and I haven't even met you xx
Aww, thank you very much. I try to be 🙂
Hi Kevin,
First of all thank you very much for being so open and honest in your above post. I can relate to your story because it is our human nature to have weaknesses as well as problems because of our own choices. I think what most of us miss in Life is Love and that special someone who can inspire and empower our daily routines.
Sorry for being a little philosophical but that is how I feel and it is very nice to have access to a site like this where you can totally change your focus and train your mind to think about good things instead of concentrating on darkness, which will attract more darkness which we don't need.
God Bless You
Keep Up Good Work
Thanks Tom.
thanks for being open and honest but really just get up and do something about the characteristics in your life that you don’t like. you can be successful. you can make things happen if you get up off your sometimes lazy butt and work at it. You can even use your skills of creating a website or the whole idea for this site. A few years ago I loved my life. I had everything I could have ever wanted. Then it was all taken away from me and I was left sick in the hospital for four years. Even though I was in my all time low and I black hole I never thought I could escape from, it has made me who I am today and i can now use it to my advantage. It has gotten me further in life than I could have ever imagined.
Yes, it is not easy to get a good paying job these days, but it doesnt hurt to put yourself out there. I did and it landed me a high paying job with a promotion after three days and then another promotion after a week. Everyone fails at some point in their life. But it is these failures that help you grow and become a stronger person. We all have skills in this world; you just have to make others aware of them and show. Be confident in what you do and in who you are. Im not perfect, no one is. But it is possible. No matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert; no matter if you dont feel comfortable in a big group setting; no matter if you are 30 or your 80 years old. think positive and go on a run. It is a miracle worker I promise you!
Working on it. Thanks!
I think it's amazing that you put up a site like this. I actually relate to someone on a motivational site (socially awkward, natural introvert, “slight” confidence issue…), so thanks so much for being honest, open and having a site like this.
Kevin, I just ran into this site early this morning and have already commented twice. After running into this read about who you really are…I am mentally seeing you in an entire different light, you have mixamized my impressions of you! I think the greatet thing I can do for others is to share this awesome site with them, so they can be uplifted and encouaged as well. I thank God for your existence! Now to get signed up here….
Thanks again Bev and double thanks for sharing this site with others 🙂
Glad you like the site Jess 🙂
thank you for sharing this with us. i love to come in this site everyday and i learned everytime i come into this site.
🙂
Pretty awesome content and thanks for being real. Keep up the positive work , I know a lot of us need the words you publicize. P
Thanks for taking the time to read the stuff I write 🙂
thanks for sharing this. I can relate with you. 🙂 and it's inspiring to hear from you, the real you which is often hard to share. God bless kevin! thanksss for inspiring. You just dont realize ho youve grown and how much you have come. 😀
You're welcome Abe 🙂
Hi Mr. kevin, I am glad to have identified myself in you. You are totally inspiringg! 🙂 keep it up!
Thanks! Will do.
I'm generally a happy, care-free person but I do have moments where I feel like my life isn't going anywhere and it can get a bit depressing. Fortunately, those moments don't last very long.
How do you deal with those moments?
Depends on the situation but normally, typing in my journal helps to sort my thoughts out, identify the challenges, and come up with solutions to get out of that state. Another thing that helps is knowing that feeling sorry for myself isn't going to magically make things better and the longer I wait to get back on track, the more time I'm wasting.
I also think the years of feeding my mind positive material helps as well. My brain won't let me feel depressed for too long. My positive self talk usually kicks in and drowns out the negative self talk. A lot of this usually happens while I'm typing my thoughts in my journal.
BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN! Moral courage is such a rarity! Your truth and honesty has inspired me even more! Wishing you great success in your endeavour!
Thanks!
Great site, sir! Trying to “Love Life. Do Good. Live Well.”
Thanks! So am I 🙂
Hello Kevin – I am enjoying the site and the dialogue with your viewers. Your blog hit home with me when you commented on your fear of what people think about you. I too feared that until I realized people don’t really think about others, they may talk about them; but they tend to me to consumed thinking about themselves.
Stay Well ..
Michael
Hi Michael,
What you said is very true. People do think about themselves a lot more than they do about others. I remember taking a speech class in high school, back when I was terrified of public speaking. When someone else was doing a speech, most of my thoughts were about my own speech rather than theirs. Thanks for chiming in.
I can relate a lot to what you are saying. It’s hard to be true to ourselves and not think or worry we are being judged. I in my mid 30’a have made plenty mistakes and have learned great lessons. I have a disabled son that has taught me to be strong and love the imperfections of people and my own. I have been let down and have let people down. But finally I have a sense of weekday our lives should bring top ourselves and to others. I’m glad I found this, this morning I enjoyed your honesty. Life gets crazy and hello live to be lazy to! Smile, life is good and it’s what we make of it. If we’re busy, it’s busy, if we’re happy, life’s happy.
Thanks Crystal. You have a great attitude.
Thanks for creating this website, Kevin!! All the best to you,
Linda
Thanks, Linda!
Thanks for being real Kevin. Often times it’s dificult for someone to share their story but, you did for your readers and I commend you for that. I’ve just started reading your post and already I’m beginning to feel inspired and motivated in the way I set to live my life and in reaching my goals. Your site will help as well as already helped a lot of people. It was not by accident that you started doing this work, I believe you have a calling. Keep up the good work and thanks.
Thanks, Nadege. Good to hear you’re finding some value in what I’ve put together. 🙂
Thank you for sharing. Are you my long lost twin brother? I felt you were describing me on your post! It is good to know I am not the only one and am not alone with my fears of failing and not being loved. Us closet introverts need to stick together. Thank you again.
Thanks for commenting, Frank. We all have fears and there’s nothing to be ashamed about and I figure if we can at least identify our fears, we can overcome or at least deal with them better.
i was wondering where to find your blog so i can follow you? i also have a blog 🙂
Hi Shelly,
I don’t have an active personal blog. I write random thoughts under the “Random Thoughts” section but only once in a long while.
Stay with it. You are a good person. Stay with it. You will succeed.
Thanks, Nicholas.
I have really enjoyed exploring this website, but this is without a doubt my favorite page. Its so easy to forget that even those that SEEM to have it all figured out still have to work hard at it. Your candor has made the obstacle of the first step seem so much smaller. Thank you!
Thanks, Mike. I wasn’t at all expecting this page to get the response that it did when I wrote it so I’m still surprised by the amount of comments this post has gotten. I’m glad you found some use in this post. 🙂
I believe success is being happy at what you do -money does not buy happiness if you hate the job you do everyday and the people in it. I am finally leaving the life of hard core sales, working 12 hours a day 6 days per week for a worthless company that cares nothing about their employees. The culture was toxic. The money was great, but nearly killed myself and enjoyed nothing with my family, always stressed out. Follow your passion- do volunteering in area of your interests- you will be surprised who you meet along the way…..
Good advice.
I landed on this page as I really flunked recently – and flunked badly but then I remembered a quote about owning your attitude and I decided to think ok, the flunk wasn’t actually that bad. It didn’t hurt. What was hurting was how I was viewing it and there are things I took from that………..so in the face of it, I decided to press on by being the real me and not trying to second guess what the me should be doing. Now I have taken action, if it pays off ( great ) and if it doesn’t – at least I tried by remaining true to the real me and I am sure one way or the other, there will be a lesson in there.
Thank you!!!
I really like what you do here. I do this thing where I send a new quote everyday to close friends and family. The quotes help me through the day and I send it out because I like to send out positivity instead the naturally negative thoughts in my head. Everyone thinks for me to send these quotes I must be completely positive and I don’t face struggles.
I just wanted to say that I understand what it’s like to feel depressed at times, and I get out of it by working towards my goals and sending people motivation, inspiration, and positivity.
I send your quotes(with your name) to my friends and these are my favorite.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks Mr Kevin, your quotes are superb and highly motivational. Love you.